I was talking with a friend at the gym yesterday and telling her how I was having a hard time getting Little D to want to read. I think that he knows more than he thinks/shows because if he gets mad enough at me telling him to read it he will read it just fine. It always ends in a yelling match or me getting tired of trying and saying "OK fine. I'm done." Which only ends in more tears because if you know Little D then you know that he is a pleaser. And he will cry more because he wants to do it. Anyway, its been hard and I don't even want to sit and have him try anymore. Sometimes I wonder if he is dyslexic or has some other problem that I don't know about. My friend said that its normal for kids to switch letters around until about 3rd grade and I knew that because I've told it to friends before. But I was trying to find some reason that this was so difficult for him.
She told me that her daughter was the same way and that she hated reading because it was so stressful. Then she did the following and it was a lot better. She asked me if I read to him. I told her yes but not the books that he was trying to read. She suggested that I first read him the book and make it fun with voices and other things. And then give Little D a turn to do the funny voices. She said to try and make it stress free and fun. And if he came to a word he didn't know to just tell him and move on. (I always make him try and sound it out) I thought... How did I not think of that? Its so simple. I guess I was just focusing on getting it done.
So last night before bed I told him to go get a book and he did. Not without yelling at me telling me that he was NOT READING ANYTHING! First I read the Curious George story and used voices and tried to make it sound fun. (Big J is better at voices and fun than I am) But it totally worked. After I said, "Now its your turn." At first he was telling me no and throwing a little tantrum but then I told him that when he got to the parts where people were talking he could make up a funny voice he was more on board.
He read the entire book. There were times in the story that there were 2 or so pages with no talking and I thought for sure he would give up. But he didn't. There were also times when I thought maybe I'll just read this page and let him read the page with the voices. But I didn't. He loved it. When he was finished he went back through making up the story and voices trying to make it funny.
I also told her about how anytime I tell him to do something he yells and says I KNOW!!! Or I CAN'T DO IT ALL! I'll ask him to change his clothes and get his shoes on and he will reply I KNOW! To which I want to say, "Then why aren't you doing it?" She then suggested that I try not to make it a command. And basically to phrase it differently and let him be more responsible.
So this morning I said to him after he was done eating, "I know that you know what you need to do to get ready for school right?" He said yes and I said "OK then." He came out later and had his shoes and socks on but hadn't changed his shirt. I asked him if he forgot anything and he was like, "No." I said, "Didn't you wear that shirt yesterday?" He then went to change it. I went by his room later and noticed he still hadn't changed his shirt. (he was looking at a Curious George book) I told him that he still needed to change his shirt and I got, "I KNOW!" So it didn't work perfectly but it was better. Maybe a few more times and he really will be able to get ready all by himself.
He did say that he had never read the book he was looking at before. So I told him we would read it tonight. And I didn't get a tantrum.
Its funny how sometimes all it takes is for someone to say, "Hey! Try this" In order for you to see how simple it can be.
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